“I like your shirt.”
“your necklace is cute!”
“I love those shoes!”
I think we all hear these comments once, twice, maybe three times a day. Maybe we are speaking them or someone’s graciously giving them to us. But here’s a question for you: how many times a day do we hear REAL compliments–compliments that aren’t quickly spat out but rather thoughtful and precise.
When do we hear compliments that look towards the heart rather than appearance?
I can answer that question, almost never.
Just the other day someone complimented my friends shirt. Suprisingly she stated back,
“Thank you! What do you like about it?”
My friends and I were all a bit confused wondering why she had asked that question when she responded,
“I feel like we give out so many un-genuine compliments. I want to know WHY someone likes something I am wearing.”
To me, that comment meant a lot. That sentence was strange to hear but utterly true.
We give out SO many compliments each day, but what do they really mean to us and the people around us? Words are so important but not if they are empty and filled with nothing but a hollow meaning. When was the last time you got a compliment that was aimed towards your heart? When was the last time someone complimented your relationship with God, your ability to be a good friend, your unshakeable morals? Most importantly, when was the last time YOU gave someone a compliment that focused on their heart?
It seems that the world focuses so much on outward beauty, and empty compliments are one of the most occurring examples.
I always thought it was interesting how compliments focus on outward appearance but gossiping tends to focus on problems with the actual person. It almost seems as if adorning yourself with clothes is BETTER than adorning your heart with Jesus Christ because its what the “world notices.” However, if you fail THATS when people love to look at who you truly are.
1 Peter 3:3-4 says this,
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
Here, St. Peter is telling us what so many of us need to hear. No matter what we do to our outward appearance, it will not satisfy God. Rather our hearts need to covered with the Holy Spirit and the insatiable need for Jesus Christ. Nothing is more beautiful to God than the adornment of your heart.
No, compliments aren’t bad. Please do not stop giving them out. But maybe, just maybe, tell one of your friends how much they mean to you. Compliment their ability to stand by you in times of trouble. Compliment their ability to love so well. Compliment their love for the Lord.
Try to compliment someone for who they truly are, not the thirty dollar shirt they are wearing.
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