Okay, raise your hand if you have every found your worth in something over than Christ (me! Me! me!).
Because of this, I decided to write this recruitment guide because I found that a lot of girls easily place their identity in things OTHER than Christ during this process, making it complicated, messy, and hurtful. I will be talking about common rush question, but this is not a “guide” to get into the houses you want, to be well liked, etc. etc. Rather, I want this to be a guide about how to approach Rush in a Christian manner and what that may look like in regard to the process.
So, let’s set this up with some basic questions:
What is Recruitment/What is the process?
Recruitment is a multiple day process where girls go into different sorority houses to learn about each sorority and where they may fit in. Depending how your school does the process, each day some houses may ask you back while others may not, eventually dwindle it down until there’s maybe just one or two houses as possible options. The goal is to really find a house where you can see yourself fitting in, getting involved, etc, etc.
Why should I rush?
Personally, I think every girl should at least try and Rush. I’ve known lots of people who rushed for one day, decided it wasn’t for them, and then dropped out. However, they liked doing it that way because they got to see how the process worked for them rather than not rushing at all and always wondering. In addition, I’ve known a few girls who didn’t expect to like rush but ended up LOVING it and finding a place that they truly thrive. Because of this, I think you should rush simply because it’s a new life experience that you will never get to have again once you graduate.
Isn’t a sorority just buying my friends?
I have heard this phrase a lot. Sorority girls are seen as shallow girls who simply rush and pay hundreds and hundreds for forced friendships. I, however, have seen this to not be the case at all. Sororities, at least at Samford, are truly a place to get involved and to build real deep relationships, while equipping you and providing you opportunities to lead and serve. Yes, you are indeed paying to be in a sorority, but to me you are not just paying to be surrounded by shallowed forced friendships. You are paying to be involved in a community that is quite unique, that builds you in leadership, grows you in service, and allows you to walk alongside college with hundreds of great girls.
How do I know which sorority I like?
Here are some tips I have for deciding which sorority is right for you.
1. Look around the room, and not just at the girl recruiting you. See if you can see yourself there with those people.
2. Ask LOTS of questions. Want to know if friendships were hard there? Ask. Want to know their favorite service project? Ask. Want to know if they think you will fit in there? Ask. Ask. Ask.
3. Be honest with how you are feeling. You will be able to tell with where you should be depending on how girls respond to your feelings. It’s okay to tell a sorority you don’t see yourself there, and it’s okay to tell a sorority they are the only one you want to be in (if that is true). Don’t lie in the process, but if you are being honest to yourself and them you can talk about it.
4. BE TRUE TO YOURSELF! It is so easy to get caught up in what sorority you think is the coolest, which girls recruiting you were the prettiest, which sorority has the best Instagram, etc, etc. but DO NOT worry about those things! Rather think about where YOU fit in, because if you don’t listen to where you need to be and rather end up somewhere you thought was cool, you can regret it in the long run.
5. DO NOT talk about rush with other girls! This relates back to number 4. When my rho gamma told me this, I totally was in my head thinking there is NO way I am not talking about it. However, in the end I totally wish I had kept my thoughts to myself along with not hearing other people’s thoughts. When you start talking about different sororities, it quickly turns into a hard comparison game which isn’t fun for anyone involved.
6. Talk to your Rho Gammas about how you are feeling. They won’t be able to tell you where ultimately you need to be, but they will ask you questions that will eventually lead you to understanding more about your feelings and emotions.
All of this to say about the “process” I really want to talk about the true meaning of this post: your IDENTITY.
Rush is a tough process; I am not going to lie. You will have friends that get dropped from the houses they so desired, you will get dropped, you will know people who get every single house they want, etc etc, but you have to remember where your identity is in all of this.
You will get dropped from a house, and when you do you may start to think less of yourself. But you must remember that each sorority is doing it for a reason: they see you fitting in somewhere better, and that is truly their mindset. In all of that, however, you must know that you are still a Daughter of the King and not getting the sorority you, desire does not diminish you as a person whatsoever. If you remember whose you are through this process, it will remove so much burden from your heart. When you remember that Christ calls you His, you won’t need the approval from other sororities. If you simply lean into Him, and your identity in Him in the process, you will be so encouraged. So how do you do that?
1. Pray.
Pray that you remember your worth through this process, and stay true to yourself.
2. Make sure your heart is in the right place to rush.
If you know you are someone who will get so incredibly hurt by the disapproval of others, then your heart isn't in the right spot for this process. Give it time and Rush the next year.
3. Remind others of their worth.
Do not be afraid to encourage others through the process when they feel discouraged. Dont diminish someones feelings if they are hurt, but rather encourage them in truth.
4. Keep bible verses with you/in your phone etc.
Something I always find helpful is keeping bible verses around me to encourage me. I recommend keeping one in your phone case, so that way if you are feeling discouraged at any point in the process you can pull one out and remind yourself. Here are some of the best verses that remind you of your worth in Him:
Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
1 Peter 3:3-4 “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
Psalm 143:8 “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.”
Psalm 73:26 “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
(shoutout to the book of Psalms: David wrote some GOOD stuff for women)
5. Do not overspiritualize the process.
Let me tell you guys, GOD DOES NOT CARE WHICH SORORITY YOU ARE IN! We had a speaker talk to us a few nights before rush and the number one thing she told us was “DO NOT OVER SPIRITUALIZE THE PROCESS.” God does not care whether you are an ADPI, or an AOPI, He really doesn’t. He will be there through the process and will be apparent, but you must remember this is an earthly world, not our permanent home.
Overall, I encourage you guys to rush, and just try to see if its something that may be right for you. But if you are rushing, make sure you know your identity and your worth. Otherwise, you will be disappointed and very very hurt by the earthly things.
God loves you, God knows you, and God has you.
Praying for all the girls going through the rush process this incoming fall.
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